And Then…

I woke up in my warm house and cuddled with my kids enjoying the day off from school.  I thanked God for blankets and heat and a home to live in and kids to love on.

And then…I took a warm shower.  I thanked God for warm water and new beginnings.

And then…I ordered the breakfast of my choice at a restaurant and had a leisurely meal while talking to someone about the movement of the Holy Spirit in their life.  I thanked God for choice and Spirit.

And then…I drove to meet a friend who is Muslim and we discussed why she celebrates secular Christmas and it opened my eyes to God’s ever reaching hand…even through things that bother me, like secular Christmas.  My friend puts up a tree, places gifts under it, sets a gorgeous table, turns on Christmas music and invites her family and friends to join her in celebrating – celebrating family, friends, love and the present of presence, indeed she thanks God for the opportunity.  I thanked God that she celebrates and I am re-thinking all my convictions about “secular” Christmas.

And then…I drove to get gas, in the freezing cold with blustering wind and this man in line in front of me smiled so broadly and had so much Joy – and he really looked like Santa Claus.  And I smiled because he smiled.  I thanked God I could afford gas and that I have heat and that secular Christmas gives us Santa Claus and jolly smiles and laughter.

And then…I went to buy a pie and instead I bought cookies.  The pie was for fellowship after Thanksgiving worship tonight.  But you see we always have leftovers and I thought I can’t take leftover pie to anyone but cookies, cookies I can pack in bags and I can stop by the day laborer site in the morning and deliver cookies and coffee to those standing in the cold.  Yes day laborers even show up on Thanksgiving, they still meet and fellowship and hope.  I thanked God for cookies and perseverance.

And then…I got a call that one of my kiddos is not feeling well.  So I picked up fresh produce and other items for homemade chicken soup.  Not to be prideful but my chicken soup is yummy and healing.  And I thanked God for the ability to purchase healthy food and for a place to cook and serve, and for the memory my child will have, “my mom always made me chicken noodle soup when I didn’t feel well.”

And then…I met A&D.

A&D are recently homeless.  They were staying at a shelter, and then they got bed bugs so they moved into their car.  Then they got some help and they moved into a motel that rents rooms by the week, they have enough to stay this week.  A&D have 5 kids, 2 stay with them, twin boys age 5 who look like cherub angels.  A&D drove to my town from another because they want their kids to have the stability of the same school but don’t want anyone to know they are homeless now, they are embarrassed, they feel shame, they don’t want to ask for help.  They rely on food stamps to feed their family.  A&D work.  The twins asked my name and wanted to know what I am doing for Thanksgiving and told me they love their family and they love to play board games.

And then…it began to lightly snow and I began to pray.  I had just gotten money from the bank to give to my boys to go to the movies with friends and my offering for church tonight.  I asked A&D to wait 20 minutes for me, I would be back.  Would they trust me? Would they stay?   I rushed.  I took my offering money for worship tonight and I got a gas station gift card to the station they would pass on their way out of town.  I got a fast food gift card to a fast food place they will pass on their way to the motel they have for a few more nights.  I went back, they had trusted, they had faith, they had waited.  I gave them the gift cards and the movie money and I said Happy Thanksgiving.  They smiled like Santa, the two cherubs giggling and they asked God to bless me as God had blessed them.  They said Thank you and Happy Thanksgiving.  And we drove off together on the same road, in the same direction, praising the same God.

And then…I thought Thank you God, please protect A&D and their family and I burst into tears.  ThanksLiving does that.

About 4-5 years ago I read an article of which I can’t remember the title nor the authors name and the author spoke about ThanksLiving instead of Thanksgiving.  I embraced that thought and I began to ask God to open the eyes of my heart.  I asked for Christ to be in front of me, behind me, above and below me, within me feeling with my heart, hearing with my ears, seeing with my eyes and using my hands and feet.  God has answered my prayers.  Each moment of grace today led to the next.  Each blessing I received prepared me to open my eyes to the hurt of others.  A&D found me because I asked God to send them to me.  God does answer prayers.  God showed me each moment today what I have been given – shelter, love, friendship, warmth, choice – God wants those blessings for all God’s children.  

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and we will say Thank You.  May it please God we take each day, each moment and Give Thanks and make the choice for ThanksLiving. 

Waiting on the Sunrise

This morning I awoke before dawn with the Spirit insisting I get up and pray.  Daily I awake this early and I am normally content to cuddle deeper into the warm covers and say my prayers with my head still on my pillow in that beautiful space in between worlds.  Letting the prayers that began in my state of sleep continue as I begin to wake.  Words of the Spirit, placed on my heart, brought into the light of my conscience. 

This morning I was called to rise.  I found my favorite chair in my hubby’s office and I turned to stare out the windows and began praying and awaiting the sunrise.  There is something so sacred and holy about these moments before sunrise.  Imagining the long night of deep darkness, the unknowing, the inability to see, your hearing heightened trying to make sense of the deep silence and the slightest of noises and then suddenly there is a tiny shimmer of light on the horizon, so tiny you think you imagined it. 

 ‘I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.”  John 16:12

As I sit staring into the darkness, honing in on the glimmer of light I wonder what God might want to share with me in the dark, in the stillness, in the silence.  What can I not bear to know?  What truths are stretched just beyond my reach?  What knowledge is sitting at the foot of the light waiting to be revealed?  During the long night I have been given respite and rest, a chance to build my courage to hear God.  Sunrise brings awakening, shining forth those many things waiting to be known and beckons us step into the light.  To act, to speak, witnessing daily miracles in those moments of gratitude and grace, to share our story, to share our place in God’s story.

“Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.”  C. S. Lewis

So I close my eyes and continue my prayers and then quick open them again to see.  And behold it was not my imagination, the tiny shimmer is still there and then it begins to grow.  There is warmth and a knowing.  A new day is beginning.  The light is shining forth bringing hope and peace, new knowledge and new work.

I love this time of day, this peace and contentment.  I did absolutely nothing to invoke this miracle.  I sat in the darkness, I prayed and I waited.  And the gift of a new day is brought to me.  I open my hands and I lift my arms and my heart proclaims, “Thank You!”

 

 

Standing In Line

Think of your local food pantry.  It is a place where a person goes if they can't afford to purchase food.  If I asked you to draw a picture of a person you imagine you would see in line at the food pantry, who would you draw?

Yesterday I went to our local food pantry to drop off a trunk load of donations.  A trunk load sounds like a lot.  That is until you drive to the pantry and you see the line of people waiting for groceries.  Then that trunk load seems like 1 fish and 5 loaves of bread and you start praying to God for a miracle.

As I passed from the front of the food pantry where clients are lined up to the back where I would drop off my donation I saw a woman and she looked like me.  A little thinner, a little sadder, her hair a little longer.  I caught her eye.  I began to smile, to approach and speak to her.  She lowered her eyes, very slightly turned and lowered her head just enough that her hair now covered the side of her face I could see.  She hid from me.  And I began to pray for her.  I prayed she would let me speak a kind word.  I think she prayed I would cease to notice her as she carried her two bags to her car.  I knew her two bags meant she is alone, only enough groceries for one person.

I didn't cease to notice her, but I did walk past her with my smile ready just in case.  She side glanced at me twice as she quickened her pace.  I knew she wanted to be left alone and I respected the moment.  You see she is me and I am her.  She is my mother and my daughter and my Sister.  And she is hungry.  I need to see her.  I need to notice her.  I need to reach out to her.  I need her to know she is me, I am her mother and her daughter and her Sister.  I need her to know she leads me, she shows me the Truth.  I need her to know that her courage to stand in line to receive 2 bags of groceries of which she has limited or no choice - it all depends on donations and what can be found on the shelves - builds my courage.  Her hiding stirs my boldness.  Her voice inspires my voice.  She is me and I am her and together we speak.

The next time we stand in line at the grocery store, our carts filled with food of our own choice, as we start to complain about the cost, the line or the customer in front of us; let us remember we complain from a place of privilege.  If we are in a grocery store with food in a cart we are privileged.

 Imagine again the line at the food pantry and this time place yourself in line.  Imagine being hungry, with no choice but to stand in a line at a food pantry.  Imagine filling out forms that declare you are poor enough to receive this food.  Imagine you are handed a bag of groceries.  Imagine if you would want to look into the eyes of the one who serves you or if you would slightly turn and lower your head and make eye contact with the floor instead.  Imagine as you walk back to your car, or to the bus, the prayer you might shout to God from your heart.

May it please God that we pray that prayer.  Pray it loud and pray it fierce for yourself and for your brothers and sisters who hunger.

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 20

On facebook during November many people post each day something for which they are grateful.  I enjoy reading the moments of gratitude and for me it is a peek into how grace is shaping their lives.

I have been craving writing again.  My fingers literally itch.  My life became very busy this past year what with the ordination, official deployment to a church in transition and then getting back into the workforce (no simple task for a stay-at-home-mommy of 12 years).  For a person who lives by the rule of organized chaos it’s been much more chaos and much less organized!  I am starting to get my groove back and for me that means adding back in my workouts (ugh!) and picking back up the pen/keyboard (thank you Jesus!)

Baby steps.  Today a 1 mile walk and a Grateful post.

Today I am grateful for the “Janie”.  What in the world is a “Janie”?  “Janie” is a female clergy insider word for removable clerical collar.  In other words I can pretend I am a superheroine and in a flash I can go from preacher girl to mommy girl and back to preacher girl.  In the life of this mommy deacon this is very important to me.

We all wear many hats and we have to choose when and how we wear them.  God called me first as a wife, then as a mommy, then as a deacon.  I don’t wear my deacon clothes on a date with my hubby, he wants to talk to his wife and he doesn’t need me to be his minister.  I don’t wear my deacon clothes when I go to my kid’s school functions.  They want me to be their mommy, not their pastor.  I wear my oh so trendy deacon clothes (have you seen female clergy shirts and albs?) when I am doing deacon work.  Today I have some deacon and mommy work.   This morning I am visiting the homeless shelter as they have rolled out the cold weather shelter and I am dropping off some travel size toiletries.  I have lots of parishioners and friends who travel and they always bring me back goodies from their hotel rooms.  Now that’s love!  Then this is American Education Week and my 4^th grader has his “living museum” today.  He has chosen to be Martin Luther King, Jr. and I am blessed to be able to see his presentation. 

Me:  “Why did you pick Martin Luther King, Jr. for the living museum.”

Little R: “Because he was a preacher and his Daddy was a preacher.  And because he believed in human rights and I want to learn more about human rights.”  (Can you hear my heart breaking open?)

Hubby:  “He believed in civil rights, son, he fought for civil rights.”

Little R:  “No, it was human rights.”

I agree with Little R on this one, human rights and we as humans aren’t always so civil to our fellow brothers and sisters. 

After his presentation I am off to preach at Noon Eucharist.  Can’t wait to see how he inspires me!

So, mommy deacon that I am the “Janie” is my lifesaver.  I can whip on the collar and be deacon, whip off the collar and be mommy and whip on the collar and be preacher girl.  Ah, organized chaos is back in the house.  Thanks be to God for the “Janie”.  

Truth be told we all wear many hats and we wear them all the time, even when they aren’t visible.  May it please God that our Light shines through all our hats and we work and play and minister to one another at all times and in all places.

“Any religion that professes to be concerned with the souls of men and is not concerned with the slums that damn them, the economic conditions that strangle them, and the social conditions that cripple them is a dry-as-dust religion.”  Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

A Time To Remember

"Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return." 

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of the Christian season of Lent.  Lent is a time of preparation that grows in anticipation of Easter, the Resurrection of Jesus.  Lent provides an opportunity for reflection, assessment, repentance, prayer and fasting. 

The big question in many Christian households today is "what are you giving up for Lent?"  And in most Episcopal households you can add "what are you taking on for Lent?"  I grew up in a Roman Catholic household and observed Lent every year and knew every year I was to give something up.  When I began attending the Episcopal Church my first Lent was a different experience for me when my Priest offered the option of taking something on.  It put a whole new twist on Lent, a new way of exploring my relationship with God.

And to me that is really the point of Lent.  For me Lent is a time to explore my relationship with God, with the Divine, with Love.  It is a time for me to reflect on my daily life and my actions in this world - do I show Love to my neighbor, do I act in compassion with each person I encounter, do I stay present to the person placed before me and see Jesus in them, are they able to see Jesus in me?

For most of my years Ash Wednesday gave me great anxiety.  You see today I will go to church and listen to scripture that tells me "And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting."  What happens next is I will kneel at the altar and have ashes put on my forehead, "Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return."  It seemed so against scripture, so hypocritical to what we just heard, to place this visible sign of fasting upon our forehead.

Then one Ash Wednesday it occurred to me that Lent is not all about the fasting, deprivation and giving up, it isn't even about taking on and blessing others.  No, Lent, for a girl like me is about being the Prodigal Daughter.  Lent is about waking up this morning and realizing I am sitting in a pig sty of my own making, that I have wandered far from home, that I have forgotten who I am and where I come from.  Lent is looking up to the heavens from my seat in the filth of my own created circumstances and crying out "help me find my way home, this is not where I belong!"  Lent is the journey of Repentance, standing up, turning around and heading back home to God. 

The next 40 days is my opportunity to pick myself up and begin the long journey to the cross.  Along the way I will discover new things about myself and the Divine Almighty God who created me.  I will die to the material things that have en captured my attention through intentional and deliberate fasting.  I will awaken to my neighbor and see the face of Jesus in the people who are placed before me as I take on actions of mercy, justice, compassion and dare I hope, Love.  I will make those steps to the cross and experience the ultimate sacrifice of Love's redemption.  I will stay up all night in Vigil those final steps approaching home and I will be rekindled with the energy of the Light of the world.  Easter day is our celebration, our  hope and Resurrection, our walking into our Father's land and seeing that He has been standing on the front porch looking for us, anticipating and longing for our return.  We are home, in our Father's arms, welcomed and reminded that we are dust, the beloved dust of True Love and to dust, into True Love, we will return. 

Now the ashes on my forehead make sense to me.  Now I realize the ashes are a visible sign for me - no one else, really just for me - to allow me to once again see the seal of my baptism when I was marked as Christ's own Forever.  The ashes allow me time to remember who I am and where I come from and grace me with the opportunity to travel the road of repentance. The road that leads home into the loving arms of God.

"At last, I understood what religion was really all about.  Or at least was supposed to be about.  I didn't just believe in God; I knew God. 

As I hobbled to the altar to take Communion,

tears streamed down my cheeks." 

 Eben Alexander, M.D. (pg. 148 Proof of Heaven)

Blessings on your Lenten journey.

Label Me Redeemed!

We seem to walk through this life with "labels" and with each label comes a set of expectations.  Expectations we put on ourselves and expectations others have for our label.  Depending on each person's perspective their expectations for labels can be different.  In other words we walk through this world constantly being labeled and then rated on our performance for each label.  Or at least we think we are?  We think we are being labeled and we think we are being judged.  Worse yet we label ourselves as we think others might label us and then act in accordance with assumed expectations of living up to those labels or striving to be "better than" those labels.  Add on feeling shame when we don't succeed at the "good" labels (such as: I am successful) and feeling justified in self-loathing when we do succeed at the "bad" labels (such as: I am unworthy and I can't)

Wow that can be tiring!  I am exhausted just thinking about it!

The Good News is we only have to accept one label for ourselves:   

Beloved Child of God!

The only expectation the Divine has on us is to open our lives up to accept Love and to shower that Love unto all other Beloved Children of God!

If I have to be labeled I choose REDEEMED ! Beloved Child of God!!!

Thanks be to God!

Recipe #11

Pick Me Up:  A cup of warm water with 2 tsps of Bragg's Organic Apple Cider Vinegar!  Think you miss caffeine?  Have a sip of this.  Warning - it is an acquired taste, try it at least 3x before you decide.

Recipe #12

Veggie Spaghetti - Just took my favorite jarred spaghetti sauce (read the label - make sure no sugar or hydrogenated oils and I also don't do dairy) add fresh kale, spinach and zucchini and let simmer.  We use Spelt noodles for our noodles, but cabbage works well for noodles too if you can't have spelt.

Tonight is Tuesday Taco Night - so here are some adjustments we have made:

Recipe #13

Instead of sour cream make guacamole - tonight I am making Creamy Avocado Dip for the first time (from the Vitamix Create recipe book)

3 ripe organic avocados, pulp only

1/4 cup fresh organic cilantro leaves

1/4 cup chopped organic onion

2 organic garlic cloves, peeled

1 small organic jalapeno pepper, halved

1 TBSP organic lemon juice

1 tsp Celtic sea salt

1 large ripe organic tomato, quartered

I will dump everything except the tomato into the Vitamix and blend, then I will add the tomato and just blend a little as the tomato chops.  Can't wait to try it!

Recipe #14

Peppers and Onions sauteed with some of your fave spicy seasonings instead of ground meat.  Make any salsa combo with chopped tomatoes, peppers, onions, cilantro and we like corn and black beans in ours.  I just bought my first block of soy cheese to try tonight but we have been eating our tacos with no cheese and it was fine.

Recipe #15

Corn tortillas - we found a soft tortilla that only has corn as an ingredient and we use crunchy shells made with only corn and expeller pressed oil.  We often do rice bowls instead of any shells, use jasmine, brown rice or quinoa; all are yummy choices.

Encountering Obstacles

One of my daily devotions is by Sarah Young "Jesus Calling".

Yesterday's devotion was perfect timing to prepare me for today - why should this surprise me?  God's timing is always perfect.

"I am with you and for you.  When you decide on a course of action that is in line with My will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you.  You may encounter many obstacles as you move toward your goal, but don't be discouraged  - never give up!  With my help, you can overcome any obstacle.  Do not expect an easy path as you journey hand in hand with Me, but do remember that I, your very-present Helper, am omnipotent.

Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come.  One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events.  If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment.  Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace.  Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence."

I could complain that I am still fasting, that my Letter still has not come.  But truly I feel God is prolonging the receiving of the Letter to prolong my fast.  To keep me dependent on God, to keep me awake on this journey, to help me to know in mind, body and Spirit that the Letter, while an answer to a question is not the goal.  The goal is the journey, the goal is staying present in each moment seeking God's presence, God's sustenance, God's courage and God's wisdom.  There is no relying on myself.  There is no illusion of control.  The only control I can practice at this time is "self-control" and this my brothers and my sisters, is a fruit of the Spirit.  This is a gift!

Obstacles in the beginning of this fast were what to do and how to stay on course.  Day by day as God readied me I was given more and more information, news clips, articles by nutritionists, friends who shared experiences and documentaries that taught me so much.  I am still learning, that will never end.  But I also have a good handle on how and what.  It no longer takes me 2 hours to grocery shop pouring over each label 2, 3, 5 times making sure what it is supposed to have and not have.  I now have a pattern and routine.  So much so I am able to experiment and have fun.  Who would think fast and fun would be found in the same post?

Up until now my support system has been amazing.  Friends asking me to cook for them and acting as my guinea pig, friends and family knowing what I am doing and making something special and yummy for me.  But I think we have hit fast fatigue - if there is such a thing.  It is now starting to, quite bluntly, tick off some of my friends.  I am not quite sure the cause - maybe they are tired of hearing about it, maybe they are tired of talking about it, maybe they are tired of my endless need to check labels and question waiters.  I believe my obstacle now is living this fast as normalcy and hoping my friends do not feel I am judging them.  Food is so integral and it seems to go so deep, ingrained in family traditions and cultures and faith.  Turning down someones favorite recipe does not make one popular.  And while I don't judge anyone else's journey I believe people do feel judged.  And I truly believe there is a greater purpose to all I am learning than just my fast.  Every piece of education and awareness I am given and each thought and feeling I have with this experience is preparation for something God is planning. 

It's easy with my hubby. If he eats a double bacon cheeseburger in front of me and offers me a bite I put up my hand and say "Get behind me Satan" and he laughs and loves me still. 20 years together offers you that opportunity. Not sure I am ready to test that out on others ;-)

Tomorrow is my sabbath and I will take this obstacle into prayer.  How do I live an authentic life praising God for all I am and all I have and honoring the Holy Spirit at work in my life, opening the eyes of my heart and in turn changing the ways I act and react to the world around me - in all choices I make, without hurting the ones I love in the process?  Hasn't this been a part of my larger journey?  Opening myself up to become who I am called to be, not being discouraged, never giving up, always turning to God for my true encouragement.  There are those who have rejected me and those who have embraced me, there are those who made some distance but have come back in full support.  This is the grace of God at work!  I have learned that people will be disappointed but God will help me to love them and journey through that disappointment with them to find ourselves in a new place, in a new way.

Recipe #8

A yummy sauce I used for a veggie stir fry.

1/4 cup Tamari

1 tsp Expeller Pressed Peanut Oil

1 tsp Hot Sauce

2 TBSP Agave Nectar

1/8 cup of Freshly Squeezed Orange Juice

1" cube of Fresh Ginger

1 clove of Garlic

Blend until smooth.  It would also make a good salad dressing I think.

Recipe #9  Orange Carrot Smoothie - great with above stir fry!

(click on picture to head to the recipe)

Recipe #10

Comfort Food when my Spirit is weary

1/2 - 1 onion

Turmeric

black pepper

2-3 potatoes, cleaned and chopped

1 pepper - I like red or yellow - chopped

chopped green chilies to taste

1-2 tomatoes, diced

Saute pan on medium heat, place onion, turmeric and black pepper, stirring until onion softens, add potato, cover, stir often for about 10 minutes, adding peppers, lower heat and add chilies and tomatoes.  Let slowly simmer until potatoes soften.  Eat and enjoy!

Blessed Be!

Monday Morning Blues?

Do you look like this on Monday mornings?  My hubby does today after his beloved football team took a dive last evening.

Personally I Love Monday mornings.  All begins again.  Kids at school, hubby at work, laundry humming, grocery list ready.  Years ago I learned from FlyLady about the House Blessing.  I love to start at the front door and walk through the house picking up from the weekend and thanking God.

Thanking God that I have a home to live in.  I have heat and electricity, running water.  I have toys, shoes, books and blankets strewn around and can still feel the warmth of my kids, hear their voices, see their faces.  I have dishes to wash, proof that I have food in my pantry and my kids went to school with full bellies and healthy hearts with minds ready to work and study.  I have laundry to fold, proof of a house full of love and active people, healthy and growing strong (and taller than me!) every day.  Sweeping and vacuuming up all the pesky doggy hair from the puppy I adore who keeps me company, loves me lots and takes me for walks every day which lifts up my heart and I wouldn't be tempted to go without her.  And all this is made possible because I have a hubby who gets up before dawn and works his tail off at a job which God has provided for us, financially caring for this active family of 6!

So I praise the Lord as we begin again this Monday!  May your week be filled with work you love, that you are paid a fair wage to do and may it enable you to care for your family as you grow deeper in love with one another and the God who provides.

Recipe #7

My favorite Asparagus

Take a bunch of Asparagus.  Peel the bottoms so they are almost white or white.  Steam them a 1/4 of the time you normally do (5 min in my steamer).  Drop them directly into a bowl of ice water.  Prepare a saute pan or wok on medium-high heat with a little Olive Oil and pepper and garlic to taste.  Drain the aspargus and place in the pan tossing for a few minutes until covered.  Done!

Eat warm or cold - perfect as a side dish or a snack while playing cards.  Yummy!  (Thanks to my Sister-in-law's brother, amazing Chef, who made this for me on Thanksgiving and now I indulge weekly!)

Psalm 103

Thanksgiving for God’s Goodness

Of David.

¹ Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name.
² Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and do not forget all his benefits—
³ who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the Pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
⁵ who satisfies you with good as long as you live^[a]
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

⁶ The Lord works vindication
and justice for all who are oppressed.
⁷ He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
⁸ The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
⁹ He will not always accuse,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
¹⁰ He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as the heavens are high above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
¹² as far as the east is from the west,
so far he removes our transgressions from us.
¹³ As a father has compassion for his children,
so the Lord has compassion for those who fear him.
¹⁴ For he knows how we were made;
he remembers that we are dust.

¹⁵ As for mortals, their days are like grass;
they flourish like a flower of the field;
¹⁶ for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
¹⁷ But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting
on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children’s children,
¹⁸ to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.

¹⁹ The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.
²⁰ Bless the Lord, O you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
obedient to his spoken word.
²¹ Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
his ministers that do his will.
²² Bless the Lord, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul.

Happy Epiphany!

"The Wise Men came to Jesus, and bowed down and worshiped him. And then, “they departed to their country by another way.” Yet how could they ever be the same again – for they had seen the Christ and they had believed."

-Br. Geoffrey Tristram
Society of Saint John the Evangelist 

How could they ever be the same again?  How could we?  May the Light of Christ guide us ever forward.

Recipe #6

My own creation the "oh no I have to leave for work in 2 minutes and I forgot to eat breakfast" smoothie

2 handfuls of Kale

3 handfuls of frozen fruit (my mix had pineapple, mango, strawberries & peaches)

1 banana

1/2 handful of raw almonds

1 TBSP flax seeds

1 cup Coconut Water

Cheers!

 

Follow The Star

My fellow travelers,
May we travel lightly on our paths.  May we be open to the Divine.  May we embrace this day as a gift.  May we see with the eyes of compassion.  May we act with the heart of Love.  May we be contributors and not just consumers.  May we give more than we receive.  May we recognize our own beauty so that it might shine for others, allowing them to realize their beauty.  May grace pour down upon us and uplift us so that we may live each moment glorifying the One who Created, Redeemed and Breathes Life into us.  Amen.  Amen.  Amen.

"Follow the star to a place unexpected..." 
Downhere 'How Many Kings'

 

Recipe #5

For my kiddos - they love this one as a treat

 

2-3 handfuls of frozen strawberries

1 banana

handful of fresh kale or spinach

1 TBSP flax seed

1 cup of freshly squeezed orange juice

ice & cold water (I use whatever cup I am using for the finished smoothie and just fill it 1/2 way with ice and just cover with cold water)

 

A great way to sneak in 2-3 servings of fruit and 1 serving of veggie each day.  Enjoy!

 

Blessed be!

I Love God More Than...

It was staff meeting and there was a birthday.  We took a 5 minute break for someone to get the cake, plates and napkins.  During the break I scrounged into my bag and grabbed a container of mixed nuts I put together and keep on hand.  I started to eat them and one of my co-workers asked what I was doing.  I said I was fasting and would not be able to partake of the cake so I was having a quick snack to help myself from creating a craving.  The cake by the way was amazing looking.  Homemade, chocolate and decadent, delicious.  But not for me.

My co-worker asked me how the fasting was going and if it was hard.  I said in the beginning it was so hard, so very hard.  But the whole point of fasting - whatever the fast is, cutting out a certain food, a certain electronic, a certain habit - is to get you on your knees and praying.  The purpose of the spiritual discipline of the fast is to call on God to fill you, uplift you, strengthen you instead of relying on whatever else it was we were using.  In the beginning of my fast I was on my knees hour by hour, almost minute by minute, crying out to God to take the craving from me to get me through the moment and I would then let my focus shift to praying for my Bishop, my Canon and my Cohort - the whole reason for this fast was to uphold always and in each moment these people as the Bishop discerns the assignments of our Cohort.

At a certain point in the fast I no longer needed to get on my knees quite as much and instead of needing to cry out for saving grace from a craving I realized I was breathing a mantra, "I love God more than..." and my heart would turn more quickly to praying for those on my heart.  God has done a good work in me!  The point of the fast is to reach out to God and allow God to reach back into you and it is a moment of glory when we surrender to all things material and open ourselves up to the Divine, praying out of the guidance of the Holy Spirit!

A dear, dear friend of mine gave me a book about a year (maybe 2 years ago) and I tucked it into my bookshelf after cracking it open for a few seconds to see a page she highlighted for me.  (Sorry MW!!)  My friend knew I should read the book, but I wasn't ready.  God guided me back to this book just 3 days ago.  I have been reading one chapter a night.  You could have knocked me over with a feather, flat out on the floor, after reading this paragraph:

"I thought about, craved, and arranged my life too much around food.  So much so, I knew it was something God was challenging me to surrender to His control.  Really surrender.  Surrender to the point where I'd make radical changes for the sake of my spiritual health perhaps even more than my physical health.  Part of my surrender was asking myself a really raw question. 

May I ask you this same raw question? 

Is it possible we love and rely on food more than we love and rely on God?" 

Lysa Terkeurst "Made To Crave" pg 28

If I had read that book a year or two ago I would have chucked it across the room with a huff proclaiming I loved NOTHING more than God and relied on NOTHING but God!  humph!

Last night the light of upcoming Epiphany shone bright over my head and a revelation was had.  My mantra "I love God more than..." came about because God used my fast to break me from my reliance on food, on my love of food most especially when I placed it before my love of God.  Those moments when I was sad, lonely, bored...fill in the adjective, and I grabbed a bite to eat instead of placing myself in prayer with my Creator.  Lord have mercy on my soul!  I didn't even know.

But God knew and God guided me back, Thanks be to God!

Recipe #4

No Blender needed ;-)

 

Dr. Oz's 3 Day Detox Cleanse Bath

(Just tell a busy mom of 4 she HAS to relax and take a bath in the evening! 

I love Dr. Oz!)

 

2 1/2 cups of Epsom Salt

10 drops of Lavender Oil

 

Then be prepared for a wonderful night of sleep.

Click here if you want to try Dr. Oz's 3 day Detox Cleanse for yourself.

Blessed Be!

So, Wake Up & See!

I receive a 'Word of the Day' from the Society of Saint John the Evangelist each day.  Today's word is Transformation.  In just 2 sentences Brother David has encaptured what I was trying to say in my last two posts.  Thanks be to God!

Transformation

We can attempt, through rewards and punishments or through the sheer force of will, to change our behavior, but real transformation only happens when our minds have been awakened and transformed by the mind of Christ. So wake up and see!

-Br. David Vryhof
Society of Saint John the Evangelist

 

 

 

My brothers and my sisters, let us wake up and see!  God opens our hearts and our minds and the world explodes in colors and sounds and we can actually see the Light overcome the darkness.  Amazing Grace!

Ask and you shall receive.  I sought transformation and I am a work in progress - having the time of my life I might add!

A preview of my dinner...

Recipe 3:

Dr. Oz's Dinner Drink, from his 3 Day Detox Cleanse

 

1/2 Cup Mango

1 Cup Blueberries

1 1/2 Cups Coconut Water

1Cup Kale

1 TBSP Lemon

1/4 Avocado

1/4 tsp Cayenne Pepper

1 TBSP Flax Seeds

Yum and Yum - this is my favorite of the 3 detox smoothies from Dr. Oz - it has a spicy, nicey kick to it, a great way to end the day.  Cheers!

Blessed Be!

Never Hide Your Feelings From God

^"God met me more than halfway, he freed me from my anxious fears.  Look at him; give him your warmest smile.  Never hide your feelings from him.  When I was desperate, I called out, and God got me out of a tight spot."  (Psalm 34:4-6; The Message)

I remember my prayers.  I don't remember the exact words, but I remember my posture, I remember my feelings.  I was desperate, I called out to God to break my chains and free my Spirit.  I prayed for years, but it wasn't until I really prayed and opened my soul that God could begin to work on me and in me.  What I mean is I didn't hide my feelings in flowery prayer, what I was supposed to say or anothers written words.  It wasn't a pretty sight.  I got on my knees and cried out, I sobbed, my nose ran and I didn't have a tissue, my face crinkled in that squishy way it does when you cry and you just can't stop.  I surrendered.  I let God know that I finally got it, I couldn't do it on my own, had no desire to do it on my own. 

Then God answered my prayers.  My spiritual director suggested a fast.  I rolled my eyes like a disgusted teenager (I have one in my house, I know that look)!  I had no idea this was an answer to my prayer.  It was about 10 weeks into my fast that I realized what God had done.   How many other times have I not realized an answer to a prayer that was delivered straight to me?   (maybe it was an answer I didn't want to hear?  wasn't ready to hear?)

God met me more than halfway and he continues to run the marathon with me.  God listened to my prayers all those years and patiently waited for me to be ready to receive the answer.  Only the grace of God could contain such amazing patience.  I wonder what else God is patiently waiting for me to surrender...

 

Recipe 2:  Dr. Oz's Lunch Drink, taken from his 3 day Detox Cleanse

 

4 Celery Stalks

1 Cucumber

1 Cup kale Leaves

1/2 Green Apple

1/2 Lime

1 TBSP Coconut Oil

1/2 Cup Almond Milk

1 Cup Pineapple

 

Cheers as you give God your warmest smile!

 

Blessed Be!

"I bless God every chance I get;
my lungs expand with his praise.

² I live and breathe God;
if things aren’t going well, hear this and be happy:

³ Join me in spreading the news;
together let’s get the word out.

⁴ God met me more than halfway,
he freed me from my anxious fears.

⁵ Look at him; give him your warmest smile.
Never hide your feelings from him.

⁶ When I was desperate, I called out,
and God got me out of a tight spot.

⁷ God’s angel sets up a circle
of protection around us while we pray.

⁸ Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—
how good God is.
Blessed are you who run to him."  (Psalm 34:1-8; The Message)

My Fast, My Freedom

Happy New Year!

The grace of God never ceases to amaze me.  God can take what we view as deprivation and provide us with blessing.  I have never been good at fasting - I have written about that before, I won't bore you with my previous angst.

The suggestion of my spiritual director at this point of my journey was to fast.  A fast I had never tried before, a new discipline.  We both assumed my fast would last about a month.  The end of my fast would be the day my Deployment Letter from the Bishop came in the mail. 

The specifics were fruit and veggies only - what God created and provided would sustain me.  After about two weeks I decided to add whole grains and legumes and nuts, telling myself God still created grains and beans and nuts!  It wasn't easy, but it wasn't hard.  Something in me had changed.  All I can attribute it to is God opened my heart and my mind and has been my strength.

I title this My Fast, My Freedom because leading up to this time in my life I have been a bit, how shall we say, obsessed with food.  I spent copious amounts of time and energy and money on food.  I had an unhealthy relationship with food, some might even use the word addiction.  I am not yet comfortable with that word in the use of my personal story, but I am letting it sit out there as a thought, not quite ready to throw it away, not quite ready to embrace it.

What I know is this - I was praying to God to free me from the shackles and burdens of thinking about food and feeling like crap, to put it bluntly.  I have so many other things on my plate that I didn't want to over dramatize the food portion anymore and I want the energy to do all the work I am called to do.  I want to minister, to pray, to worship, to love, to meet, to taste and see the goodness of life and witness the grace of God moving in the lives of others. 

Using this fast of mine God has freed me from my shackles and burdens and brought me blessing upon blessing.  What this fast did for me that I had never considered an option is cut me off cold turkey from refined and processed sugar (and lots of other ingredients I will get to in the future).  About 5 days into the fast I realized I felt amazing, this was not my normal response to a fast.  I had so much energy that I was getting up earlier than normal, after deep and wonderful nights of sleep, and I desired to workout or go for a walk.  I had so much physical energy that I didn't know what to do with myself.

There is so much more to this story and I want to share every minute detail with you.  The reason I chose today to begin writing (3 months into this fast - the fast we thought would last 1 month - God knew I would need extra time, I am a slow learner!) is two fold.  One - it is New Years Day and I know so, so many people who make the resolution to "lose weight" or "get healthy" or "eat better" or "workout more".  I want to share my new experiences with those making that resolution.  Two - for my birthday I got exactly what I wanted (thank you to my hubby and kids, mom and dad, grandpa and SIL and BIL and nephew - it takes a village to raise this girl!) a Vitamix!  What is a Vitamix you ask - it is the Mercedes of Blenders.  It was taking me forever to make smoothies and other recipes for myself and the family (who have taken a liking to some, not all, of my new food choices).  Today I have made 3 smoothies already and it took less than a minute for each!  Thanks be to God.

I promised a few friends of mine that since I did get the Vitamix I would share 1 new recipe each day of January.  I am still fasting - and I have started getting creative about what I eat - I have a lot of help and support and through this month I will be sharing all that with you.

I am having fun and praising God!  And when that happens all we want to do is share the Word and all that we are learning and experiencing.  Cheers to an amazing New Year, may it be one that brings you freedom, peace and joy and may all we do bring a smile to God's face!

Recipe 1

Dr. Oz's Breakfast Drink - taken from his 3 day detox cleanse

1 cup Water
1 TBSP Flax Seed
1 Cup Raspberries
1 Banana
1/4 cup Spinach
1 TBSP Almond Butter
2 tsp Lemon

Cheers to a healthy New Year!

 

Blessed Be!