I Love God More Than...

It was staff meeting and there was a birthday.  We took a 5 minute break for someone to get the cake, plates and napkins.  During the break I scrounged into my bag and grabbed a container of mixed nuts I put together and keep on hand.  I started to eat them and one of my co-workers asked what I was doing.  I said I was fasting and would not be able to partake of the cake so I was having a quick snack to help myself from creating a craving.  The cake by the way was amazing looking.  Homemade, chocolate and decadent, delicious.  But not for me.

My co-worker asked me how the fasting was going and if it was hard.  I said in the beginning it was so hard, so very hard.  But the whole point of fasting - whatever the fast is, cutting out a certain food, a certain electronic, a certain habit - is to get you on your knees and praying.  The purpose of the spiritual discipline of the fast is to call on God to fill you, uplift you, strengthen you instead of relying on whatever else it was we were using.  In the beginning of my fast I was on my knees hour by hour, almost minute by minute, crying out to God to take the craving from me to get me through the moment and I would then let my focus shift to praying for my Bishop, my Canon and my Cohort - the whole reason for this fast was to uphold always and in each moment these people as the Bishop discerns the assignments of our Cohort.

At a certain point in the fast I no longer needed to get on my knees quite as much and instead of needing to cry out for saving grace from a craving I realized I was breathing a mantra, "I love God more than..." and my heart would turn more quickly to praying for those on my heart.  God has done a good work in me!  The point of the fast is to reach out to God and allow God to reach back into you and it is a moment of glory when we surrender to all things material and open ourselves up to the Divine, praying out of the guidance of the Holy Spirit!

A dear, dear friend of mine gave me a book about a year (maybe 2 years ago) and I tucked it into my bookshelf after cracking it open for a few seconds to see a page she highlighted for me.  (Sorry MW!!)  My friend knew I should read the book, but I wasn't ready.  God guided me back to this book just 3 days ago.  I have been reading one chapter a night.  You could have knocked me over with a feather, flat out on the floor, after reading this paragraph:

"I thought about, craved, and arranged my life too much around food.  So much so, I knew it was something God was challenging me to surrender to His control.  Really surrender.  Surrender to the point where I'd make radical changes for the sake of my spiritual health perhaps even more than my physical health.  Part of my surrender was asking myself a really raw question. 

May I ask you this same raw question? 

Is it possible we love and rely on food more than we love and rely on God?" 

Lysa Terkeurst "Made To Crave" pg 28

If I had read that book a year or two ago I would have chucked it across the room with a huff proclaiming I loved NOTHING more than God and relied on NOTHING but God!  humph!

Last night the light of upcoming Epiphany shone bright over my head and a revelation was had.  My mantra "I love God more than..." came about because God used my fast to break me from my reliance on food, on my love of food most especially when I placed it before my love of God.  Those moments when I was sad, lonely, bored...fill in the adjective, and I grabbed a bite to eat instead of placing myself in prayer with my Creator.  Lord have mercy on my soul!  I didn't even know.

But God knew and God guided me back, Thanks be to God!

Recipe #4

No Blender needed ;-)

 

Dr. Oz's 3 Day Detox Cleanse Bath

(Just tell a busy mom of 4 she HAS to relax and take a bath in the evening! 

I love Dr. Oz!)

 

2 1/2 cups of Epsom Salt

10 drops of Lavender Oil

 

Then be prepared for a wonderful night of sleep.

Click here if you want to try Dr. Oz's 3 day Detox Cleanse for yourself.

Blessed Be!

Food & Faith: Breaking Bad

Mother's Day 2011 - I decided every Mother's Day I was going to break one bad habit.  A habit that was becoming something of an addiction and/or compulsion.  My faith tells me I need nothing in this world except God - so if I feel I need anything else during the day then I am making an idol out of something. 
My idol was Dt. Coke.  My addiction had become so bad that I was drinking 5-6 a day (at least).  My husband would find open cans in my car, kitchen, bedroom, office.  I would have them stashed in the Church office and in my purse.  I might have been on the verge of keeping a stocked mini-cooler in my van if God hadn't given me the idea to break free.

I went cold turkey - drank a ton of them on Mother's Day and then woke up Monday morning with a new resolve.  I knew the caffeine and chemicals were bad for me.  A doctor on TV one day - I am an avid fan of Dr. Oz and it was a guest of his - said "I tell my patients Soda is the Devil's Urine."  Now grab that visual and still chug one down!

Day 1 - I survived by sheer willpower and determination not to be broken on my first day!  Crying out, "God help me!".

Day 2 - I barely survived and only by praying out to God - "I am weak but you are strong, save me!"

Day 3 - I managed to walk around almost semi-human but only because I had to.  I remember texting my brother "I feel like a crack addict, this withdrawal is unbelievable, what is going on?"  I had a severe headache, I was lethargic, I was cranky beyond cranky, I even feel like I had the shakes and kept reaching for a can of dt. coke - just wanting to hear the pop of the tab, to listen to the fizz of the bubbles, to take that first glorious sip of straight chemical sugar!  My brother's reply was so... uhm... empathetic, "you are an addict to dt. coke, this is an addiction, listen to your body telling you."  Ugh!  Couldn't delude myself any longer and make flippant "I am addicted to dt.coke" remarks anymore.  Now it was real.  Prayer to God - unceasing!

Day 4 - I woke up alive!  And filled with Joy and energy and ready to conquer the world!  I could see clearly now, no dt. coke fuzzy filter!  ;-)

Today I am a year and about 18 days free from Dt. Coke.  Bad habit broken.  At first I replaced those physical cravings  with seltzer water - but I really didn't need that for more than 2 weeks.  It was true for me what some have said - after 21 days I didn't crave anymore and after 6 months I didn't even think about it anymore.  Now I don't drink any soda at all, green tea (the real stuff, brewed myself with no sugar or sweeteners) is my drink of choice along with water.  Isn't God so good?  God gave us water and tea leaves and go figure that drinking just those I feel amazing.  Even a cup of coffee every now and then reminds me that water is what I really want. 

Living Water - Jesus is the Living Water in our life and in our souls and when we thirst isn't our thirst really for God?  Breaking Bad with Dt. Coke gave me a new awareness and appreciation for the gift of water and made room in my life for the Spirit to move.  (I will leave for another post the alarming number of people in our world who do not have access to clean drinking water!)

This Mother's Day I gave up Fast Food Restaurants - I will NOT eat at any restaurant that has a drive-thru (and this includes their counterparts housed in a mall or rest stop area.)  I am 18 days free of Breaking Bad with Fast Food.  Amazing - I wonder if my veins have yet recovered from the salt and grease, probably need 18 months to work all that out of my system!  Drive Thru(s) had become my best friend in my crazy, living in my car some days schedule.  My first clue I was addicted was my kids saying, "NO, not again" and refusing to eat any fast food.  Let the little children teach us!

Breaking Bad with food addiction - could it be as simple (and complex) as allowing God to love us and loving God back?  Could it be as simple as realizing we are sacred beings housed in this unglamorous, often traitorous flesh?  The Holy Spirit is loving us and calling us, can we hear through the cacophony of physical cravings or denial of physical cravings?  Let's face it people are addicted with food on the full spectrum from anorexia and bulimia to binging and compulsive over-eating.  No matter where on the spectrum, it is obsessive thought with tangible food - when our thoughts should be focused on God.

Paul often uses the word "Beloved" when speaking to us.  Be Loved.  Be Love.  I wonder if we allowed ourselves to Be Loved by God which enables us to Be Love in the world - who would have time for food addiction?  Be"ing" Love is life altering and all consuming.

The question I ponder today is can we allow ourselves to Be Loved by our God?  It isn't a question of whether or not God loves us - We Are Loved!  The real question is can we accept that we are Loved, we are Love - can we wake up this morning, look into the mirror and say "Good Morning God!  Good Morning Love!  What shall we do together today?"

Beloved, Be Love today!

"For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,

Do not fear; I will help you."  Isaiah 41:13