I Love God More Than...

It was staff meeting and there was a birthday.  We took a 5 minute break for someone to get the cake, plates and napkins.  During the break I scrounged into my bag and grabbed a container of mixed nuts I put together and keep on hand.  I started to eat them and one of my co-workers asked what I was doing.  I said I was fasting and would not be able to partake of the cake so I was having a quick snack to help myself from creating a craving.  The cake by the way was amazing looking.  Homemade, chocolate and decadent, delicious.  But not for me.

My co-worker asked me how the fasting was going and if it was hard.  I said in the beginning it was so hard, so very hard.  But the whole point of fasting - whatever the fast is, cutting out a certain food, a certain electronic, a certain habit - is to get you on your knees and praying.  The purpose of the spiritual discipline of the fast is to call on God to fill you, uplift you, strengthen you instead of relying on whatever else it was we were using.  In the beginning of my fast I was on my knees hour by hour, almost minute by minute, crying out to God to take the craving from me to get me through the moment and I would then let my focus shift to praying for my Bishop, my Canon and my Cohort - the whole reason for this fast was to uphold always and in each moment these people as the Bishop discerns the assignments of our Cohort.

At a certain point in the fast I no longer needed to get on my knees quite as much and instead of needing to cry out for saving grace from a craving I realized I was breathing a mantra, "I love God more than..." and my heart would turn more quickly to praying for those on my heart.  God has done a good work in me!  The point of the fast is to reach out to God and allow God to reach back into you and it is a moment of glory when we surrender to all things material and open ourselves up to the Divine, praying out of the guidance of the Holy Spirit!

A dear, dear friend of mine gave me a book about a year (maybe 2 years ago) and I tucked it into my bookshelf after cracking it open for a few seconds to see a page she highlighted for me.  (Sorry MW!!)  My friend knew I should read the book, but I wasn't ready.  God guided me back to this book just 3 days ago.  I have been reading one chapter a night.  You could have knocked me over with a feather, flat out on the floor, after reading this paragraph:

"I thought about, craved, and arranged my life too much around food.  So much so, I knew it was something God was challenging me to surrender to His control.  Really surrender.  Surrender to the point where I'd make radical changes for the sake of my spiritual health perhaps even more than my physical health.  Part of my surrender was asking myself a really raw question. 

May I ask you this same raw question? 

Is it possible we love and rely on food more than we love and rely on God?" 

Lysa Terkeurst "Made To Crave" pg 28

If I had read that book a year or two ago I would have chucked it across the room with a huff proclaiming I loved NOTHING more than God and relied on NOTHING but God!  humph!

Last night the light of upcoming Epiphany shone bright over my head and a revelation was had.  My mantra "I love God more than..." came about because God used my fast to break me from my reliance on food, on my love of food most especially when I placed it before my love of God.  Those moments when I was sad, lonely, bored...fill in the adjective, and I grabbed a bite to eat instead of placing myself in prayer with my Creator.  Lord have mercy on my soul!  I didn't even know.

But God knew and God guided me back, Thanks be to God!

Recipe #4

No Blender needed ;-)

 

Dr. Oz's 3 Day Detox Cleanse Bath

(Just tell a busy mom of 4 she HAS to relax and take a bath in the evening! 

I love Dr. Oz!)

 

2 1/2 cups of Epsom Salt

10 drops of Lavender Oil

 

Then be prepared for a wonderful night of sleep.

Click here if you want to try Dr. Oz's 3 day Detox Cleanse for yourself.

Blessed Be!