Encountering Obstacles

One of my daily devotions is by Sarah Young "Jesus Calling".

Yesterday's devotion was perfect timing to prepare me for today - why should this surprise me?  God's timing is always perfect.

"I am with you and for you.  When you decide on a course of action that is in line with My will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you.  You may encounter many obstacles as you move toward your goal, but don't be discouraged  - never give up!  With my help, you can overcome any obstacle.  Do not expect an easy path as you journey hand in hand with Me, but do remember that I, your very-present Helper, am omnipotent.

Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come.  One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events.  If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment.  Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace.  Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence."

I could complain that I am still fasting, that my Letter still has not come.  But truly I feel God is prolonging the receiving of the Letter to prolong my fast.  To keep me dependent on God, to keep me awake on this journey, to help me to know in mind, body and Spirit that the Letter, while an answer to a question is not the goal.  The goal is the journey, the goal is staying present in each moment seeking God's presence, God's sustenance, God's courage and God's wisdom.  There is no relying on myself.  There is no illusion of control.  The only control I can practice at this time is "self-control" and this my brothers and my sisters, is a fruit of the Spirit.  This is a gift!

Obstacles in the beginning of this fast were what to do and how to stay on course.  Day by day as God readied me I was given more and more information, news clips, articles by nutritionists, friends who shared experiences and documentaries that taught me so much.  I am still learning, that will never end.  But I also have a good handle on how and what.  It no longer takes me 2 hours to grocery shop pouring over each label 2, 3, 5 times making sure what it is supposed to have and not have.  I now have a pattern and routine.  So much so I am able to experiment and have fun.  Who would think fast and fun would be found in the same post?

Up until now my support system has been amazing.  Friends asking me to cook for them and acting as my guinea pig, friends and family knowing what I am doing and making something special and yummy for me.  But I think we have hit fast fatigue - if there is such a thing.  It is now starting to, quite bluntly, tick off some of my friends.  I am not quite sure the cause - maybe they are tired of hearing about it, maybe they are tired of talking about it, maybe they are tired of my endless need to check labels and question waiters.  I believe my obstacle now is living this fast as normalcy and hoping my friends do not feel I am judging them.  Food is so integral and it seems to go so deep, ingrained in family traditions and cultures and faith.  Turning down someones favorite recipe does not make one popular.  And while I don't judge anyone else's journey I believe people do feel judged.  And I truly believe there is a greater purpose to all I am learning than just my fast.  Every piece of education and awareness I am given and each thought and feeling I have with this experience is preparation for something God is planning. 

It's easy with my hubby. If he eats a double bacon cheeseburger in front of me and offers me a bite I put up my hand and say "Get behind me Satan" and he laughs and loves me still. 20 years together offers you that opportunity. Not sure I am ready to test that out on others ;-)

Tomorrow is my sabbath and I will take this obstacle into prayer.  How do I live an authentic life praising God for all I am and all I have and honoring the Holy Spirit at work in my life, opening the eyes of my heart and in turn changing the ways I act and react to the world around me - in all choices I make, without hurting the ones I love in the process?  Hasn't this been a part of my larger journey?  Opening myself up to become who I am called to be, not being discouraged, never giving up, always turning to God for my true encouragement.  There are those who have rejected me and those who have embraced me, there are those who made some distance but have come back in full support.  This is the grace of God at work!  I have learned that people will be disappointed but God will help me to love them and journey through that disappointment with them to find ourselves in a new place, in a new way.

Recipe #8

A yummy sauce I used for a veggie stir fry.

1/4 cup Tamari

1 tsp Expeller Pressed Peanut Oil

1 tsp Hot Sauce

2 TBSP Agave Nectar

1/8 cup of Freshly Squeezed Orange Juice

1" cube of Fresh Ginger

1 clove of Garlic

Blend until smooth.  It would also make a good salad dressing I think.

Recipe #9  Orange Carrot Smoothie - great with above stir fry!

(click on picture to head to the recipe)

Recipe #10

Comfort Food when my Spirit is weary

1/2 - 1 onion

Turmeric

black pepper

2-3 potatoes, cleaned and chopped

1 pepper - I like red or yellow - chopped

chopped green chilies to taste

1-2 tomatoes, diced

Saute pan on medium heat, place onion, turmeric and black pepper, stirring until onion softens, add potato, cover, stir often for about 10 minutes, adding peppers, lower heat and add chilies and tomatoes.  Let slowly simmer until potatoes soften.  Eat and enjoy!

Blessed Be!

I Love God More Than...

It was staff meeting and there was a birthday.  We took a 5 minute break for someone to get the cake, plates and napkins.  During the break I scrounged into my bag and grabbed a container of mixed nuts I put together and keep on hand.  I started to eat them and one of my co-workers asked what I was doing.  I said I was fasting and would not be able to partake of the cake so I was having a quick snack to help myself from creating a craving.  The cake by the way was amazing looking.  Homemade, chocolate and decadent, delicious.  But not for me.

My co-worker asked me how the fasting was going and if it was hard.  I said in the beginning it was so hard, so very hard.  But the whole point of fasting - whatever the fast is, cutting out a certain food, a certain electronic, a certain habit - is to get you on your knees and praying.  The purpose of the spiritual discipline of the fast is to call on God to fill you, uplift you, strengthen you instead of relying on whatever else it was we were using.  In the beginning of my fast I was on my knees hour by hour, almost minute by minute, crying out to God to take the craving from me to get me through the moment and I would then let my focus shift to praying for my Bishop, my Canon and my Cohort - the whole reason for this fast was to uphold always and in each moment these people as the Bishop discerns the assignments of our Cohort.

At a certain point in the fast I no longer needed to get on my knees quite as much and instead of needing to cry out for saving grace from a craving I realized I was breathing a mantra, "I love God more than..." and my heart would turn more quickly to praying for those on my heart.  God has done a good work in me!  The point of the fast is to reach out to God and allow God to reach back into you and it is a moment of glory when we surrender to all things material and open ourselves up to the Divine, praying out of the guidance of the Holy Spirit!

A dear, dear friend of mine gave me a book about a year (maybe 2 years ago) and I tucked it into my bookshelf after cracking it open for a few seconds to see a page she highlighted for me.  (Sorry MW!!)  My friend knew I should read the book, but I wasn't ready.  God guided me back to this book just 3 days ago.  I have been reading one chapter a night.  You could have knocked me over with a feather, flat out on the floor, after reading this paragraph:

"I thought about, craved, and arranged my life too much around food.  So much so, I knew it was something God was challenging me to surrender to His control.  Really surrender.  Surrender to the point where I'd make radical changes for the sake of my spiritual health perhaps even more than my physical health.  Part of my surrender was asking myself a really raw question. 

May I ask you this same raw question? 

Is it possible we love and rely on food more than we love and rely on God?" 

Lysa Terkeurst "Made To Crave" pg 28

If I had read that book a year or two ago I would have chucked it across the room with a huff proclaiming I loved NOTHING more than God and relied on NOTHING but God!  humph!

Last night the light of upcoming Epiphany shone bright over my head and a revelation was had.  My mantra "I love God more than..." came about because God used my fast to break me from my reliance on food, on my love of food most especially when I placed it before my love of God.  Those moments when I was sad, lonely, bored...fill in the adjective, and I grabbed a bite to eat instead of placing myself in prayer with my Creator.  Lord have mercy on my soul!  I didn't even know.

But God knew and God guided me back, Thanks be to God!

Recipe #4

No Blender needed ;-)

 

Dr. Oz's 3 Day Detox Cleanse Bath

(Just tell a busy mom of 4 she HAS to relax and take a bath in the evening! 

I love Dr. Oz!)

 

2 1/2 cups of Epsom Salt

10 drops of Lavender Oil

 

Then be prepared for a wonderful night of sleep.

Click here if you want to try Dr. Oz's 3 day Detox Cleanse for yourself.

Blessed Be!

Dear Silence, How I Have Missed You

"There must be a stillness and a silence for this Word to make itself heard.  We cannot serve this Word better than in stillness and silence:  there we can hear it and there too we will understand it aright - in the unknowing.  To him who knows nothing, it appears and reveals itself." 

 Meister Eckhart

I welcome the silence in my life as my flock returns to school and work.  I embrace the silence, welcoming it back, knowing that in this space of quiet and letting go of all I perceive to be that God can speak.  I am reclaiming my daily routine of Centering Prayer and allowing space for the Spirit to move and guide me.  I have scheduled monthly silent retreats at Richmond Hill as I continue in this formation process and move forward in this journey toward ordination.  I just need to be present.  The Spirit will lead if I will listen...

Do you have a moment today to stop and just be, to listen for the whisper of the Spirit...

The Grace of Gratitude

Every church visit I have made has been completely inspired by God.  At each of the places I have gone I have experienced something new, learned something new or been reminded of something I had forgotten.  Today was no different.

Today's church visit I went with a friend and she actually planned this trip.  We went to the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C.  Really it just doesn't get any better -whether you are a church nerd like me or have never stepped foot in a church. 

We decided to attend two services (yes, she is a church nerd too).  First we attended their Contemporary Folk Eucharist.  (note to self for another blog topic using the word "contemporary" in regards to Episcopal worship, what does it really mean?)  The service takes place down within the Cathedral where there are 3 intimate chapels.  We were in the St. Joseph's chapel.

My picture does not do it justice, I wish my daughter had been there because she would have remembered to use the flash and create her magic (most of the photos I use on my blog are hers).  As you can see a very simple, intimate chapel.  In fact the stairs you see on the sides - people sit up and down these stairs.  I have to tell you I got goose bumps being in this chapel.  I couldn't help but ponder if this is how it was when Jesus was alive, sitting in a room such as this the Great Teacher in the midst of the crowd.  This service has an interactive sermon, meaning the priest begins the discussion and then steps back to facilitate the on-going conversation with those who have come to worship.  It was great stuff. 

Let me step back for a moment and tell you who was in the room.  There are times that I have thought I was in the Kingdom of God on earth and this was one of them.  Every age was in this room from very young children through seniors and every nationality was also present, and I mean every.  The diversity of races was such a glorious rainbow of God's creation of humankind.  There were college kids in jeans and sweatshirts, some baptized, some not.  There were doctors and professor's in suits, there was a homeless person or two and there was every mix in between of every education and socio-economic level.

Now for the readings, how perfect for this gathering of the Kingdom - it was 2 Kings 5:1-3, 7-15c and the Gospel of Luke 17:11-19.  Just to highlight: the first reading is about Naaman, a commanding officer in the army of the king of Aram - not one of God's chosen people/tribes at this point in history.  This was a military man who would be considered "pagan" by our terms.  Very powerful man, very respected in society, he had the house, the wife, the clothes, the food, the servants.  In one of his many raids he had taken captive a young Israelite girl for a slave in his household and she ended up serving Naaman's wife.  This tells you that she was very capable at her duties to be a household slave.  Well Naaman gets struck with leprosy - this is devastating and humiliating - he will have to be kicked out of his society, everything will be taken from him, leprosy is the worst contagious disease that he could get and it is physically highly visible so everyone is going to know he has it.  The Israelite slave girl shows great Faith and great courage when she speaks up to her master and says "If only my lord were with the prophet who is in Samaria!  He would cure him of his leprosy."  She is speaking of Elisha.

As the story goes on Naaman ends up pulling up in all his pageantry and with splendid gifts in front of Elisha's house.  This part is funny - so Elisha sends out one of his helpers to give the prescription for getting rid of the leprosy.  Naaman is fuming!  How dare this prophet send out this mere helper - he should have come out at once and "call on the name of the Lord his God, and would wave his hand over the spot, and cure the leprosy".  Instead Naaman was told to go jump in the river 7x.

-Let me stop here for a second - how many times have we done this?  How many times have we shown up at the church and demanded of a priest - Pray and fix me, Pray and fix this situation, You must Pray and get God to take care of X, Y and Z?  And how many times have we fumed at the Church or at a particular priest for not waving a magic wand and "cure"ing our "spot"?

Just like Naaman learned we must learn - it is our responsibility to pray.  There is no magic.  If we get quiet and listen to God when we pray and invite our own healing we have to be willing to hear God and to do what we are told to do - be it jumping in a river 7x or getting counsel from a doctor, or taking our hat in hand and apologizing for a wrong we have committed, or swallowing our Pride so that we might begin to restore X, Y and Z.

Now moving on to the Gospel - this is where I knew the Holy Spirit had divined this whole day for me.  This is the Gospel reading that changed my life so many years ago.  This was a turning point for me (pun intended).  "Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God in a loud voice."

"On the way to Jerusalem Jesus was going through the region between Samaria and Galilee.  As he entered a village, ten lepers approached him.  Keeping their distance, they called out, saying, "Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!"  When he saw them, he said to them, "Go and show yourselves to the priests."  And as they went, they were made clean.  Then one of them when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice.  He prostrated himself at Jesus' feet and thanked him.  And he was a Samaritan.  Then Jesus asked, "Were not ten made clean?  But the other nine, where are they?  Was none of them found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?" 

Then he said to him, "Get up and go on your way; your faith has made you well."  Luke 17:11-19

The word "well" has been translated from a Hebrew word that also translates "whole".  "your faith has made you whole."  I could write another page or two on this lesson, there are so many things to talk about.  But for me, today, as I learned just 2-3 weeks ago when talking to the priest who proclaimed this Gospel and preached her sermon that changed the course of my life  - as she reminded me - I am the Leper who returned.  I received the 2nd miracle.  The first miracle the leper receives is his physical healing - which will also lead to emotional and spiritual healing as he will be brought back into society and not outcast into the wilderness on his own.  When this healed leper turns back to Jesus and rushes to him singing and dancing and prostrating and praising God he receives his second miracle - he is made Whole.  His faith has brought him back into relationship with God.  His Gratitude has brought him back to God and restored his Life.

This is my life today.  I begin my day in Thanksgiving and end my day in Gratitude with the Grace of God interweaving every breath I take with the Holy Spirit.

I quickly need to add that we also attended the High Church Cathedral service and it was all the pageantry and elegance and beauty that one would expect and cherish from the National Cathedral - and the sermon was excellent.  In attending both though I felt a staggering difference - for me personally the first service, in it's intimacy and surroundings brought me into complete worship and I could feel the wind of the Holy Spirit moving amongst us - and I could see evidence on the tears flowing from more than one person as they received Eucharist.  I felt more separated at the larger service, less connected to the music, the peace was very short and quick and the brilliance of my surroundings kept me firmly on the firmament, no suspending into the ethereal.  BUT for the first time ever I received Eucharist from a Deacon - way cool!  I wanted to meet him but he was a smart man and I couldn't find him anywhere ;-)

Happy Sabbath my friends, remember to BE the church this week in your daily vocation no matter where you were "church"ed today!

He Leadeth Me

After my meeting with the Commission on the Deaconate I began to ponder an idea of visiting churches. After my meeting with the Bishop I felt this urging to not keep it an idea but begin doing it.

The Episcopal Church is organized by Diocese, within the Diocese are Regions, within the Regions are Parishes. When I am ordained as a Deacon I will serve under the Bishop at the Parishes he sends me. I will do my initial field work while at the Diaconal Formation Institute at my sending parish and then I will be sent to another parish to continue my field work and possibly another parish to do my Practicum.

The Diocese I belong to is huge, in fact it might be the largest in the U.S., in my Region alone there are 20 parishes. I am in just one of 15 Regions. I was thinking I could visit just one parish a month, but even in 2 years I would just see my region and 4 more churches!

I am not sure how to blog about my adventures in church visiting. So I haven't yet. I made my first visit to a church in another state right before I began my blog so I didn't write about it. I made my second visit to a church in another diocese in our state and I didn't blog about it. But last night I visited a church in my Diocese and I really want to blog about it. I think I will call this series of blogs "He Leadeth Me".

I want to experience the hand of God as it is being experienced throughout our Diocese. I want to meet the people who come to worship, I want to feel the Holy Spirit moving amongst the congregations, I want to hear them talk about the way they love and serve their neighbor. It is fine to read on their websites, look at pictures of their church, their work. But I don't just want to research them, I want to know them. I want to be in communion with my brothers and sisters who might live in the mountains, near the river, in the depths of suburbia and the inner streets of our capital city. One of the great beauties of the Episcopal church is how the church holds in tandem its great diversity with its most inner sameness. I imagine it is the beauty of the kingdom, all God's children expressing their love and joy in Him in all their created uniqueness.

Blessed worship to you this morning, Holly