Reconciliation; Jacob and Esau

What does reconciliation look like?  We can talk and write about it but how do we act on it in our own life?  When wondering what to do in our own life it is always good to reach for our Bible.  In thinking about reconciliation in scripture there are many stories; person to person, person to God, people to people, a people with their God.

One that stands out for me today is Jacob and Esau.  Their story really begins at Genesis 25:19 and goes through chapter 33.  Definitely read the whole scripture, but for our consideration of reconciliation let us go through a few highlights.  Jacob and Esau were born twins from Rebekah and Issac.  Rebekah was given a prophecy from the Lord about her twin sons:  “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples born of you shall be divided;  the one shall be stronger than the other, the elder shall serve the younger.”

What is a mother to do with this information?  What happened in this family was a game of favorites.  Issac loved Esau, the firstborn of the twins and Rebekah loved Jacob.  How must that have been for the boys growing up?  Would they have a time when they were playmates with one another and goofing off and having fun or would they use their position as favorite to manipulate every situation they are in?  In essence tainting every interaction they have?  If we are constantly trying to one-up someone or gain something to the disadvantage of someone else can we truly be authentic in relationship?

As time went on Jacob manipulated and lied; first with Esau to gain his birthright by acquiesce and then lying to Issac to cement the firstborn birthright as his own from his father’s hand.  Lies and deceit brought on the inevitable fear and Jacob had to run for his life.  I often wonder how Issac felt being lied to by Jacob, as we know Issac himself was a liar when he claimed (out of fear) Rebekah was his sister instead of his wife to save his own life.  It is interesting to note family legacy.  What do we learn from our parents that we unwittingly act out in our own life?  Do we even notice the patterns we create?  If we do can we break them?  Is reconciliation the key to breaking legacy that is unhealthy?

Jacob ran far, off to his Uncle Laban and fell in love with Rachel.  And again family legacy, or as some would call it in this case, Karma, came to knock on Jacob’s door.  Laban lied and tricked Jacob into thinking he was marrying Rachel and instead he married Leah.  Eventually Jacob and Rachel do marry.  But in the meantime hearts are broken, sisters torn apart, unrequited love, sorrow, shame, pain and loneliness reign.  So much dysfunction in one little family.  What does Jacob learn?  What is God trying to show us?

God tells Jacob that he has seen what is happening and knows what is going on.  Jacob is given the command to go back home.  There is a lot of hubbub when Jacob and his wives leave, it is a whole other story of deceit, fear and reconciliation with God as witness.  What Jacob has learned and what God might be trying to tell us, show us, is true repentance and forgiveness.  God calls to Jacob to go home.  Jacob answers “Here I Am Lord” and “Yes”.  There is a cost to answering God and saying Yes, it is a complete surrender of personal will and acceptance of God’s will.  Does Jacob know there is reason to fear?  Absolutely, he is walking into a situation where he is certain he will be killed by his brother, he and his whole family.  But walking with God overcomes any fear.  Walking with God sustains you through the fear.  You are able to act abiding in God because God is your strength and courage.  The reward for answering Yes is complete and true freedom.

Jacob had what I call a “come to Jesus” meeting.  Jacob was filled with fear and he laid it before God, crying out to God to save him.  It reminds me of the prayer “Lord I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I shall be healed. “  “Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak.”   Was Jacob wrestling with God as he supposed?  Was Jacob wresting with his conscience and repenting and asking forgiveness for all that he had done to promote lies and deceit and now wanting a clean soul and a fresh start?  Was Jacob wrestling with the Christ within himself?   Was Jacob’s soul, imbued with Christ wrestling with Jacob’s ego so that Jacob might be able to have the strength and courage he would need to fulfill his call from God to return home and reconcile?  

It takes great strength to lay oneself out and say “I am sorry”.  And this is what Jacob did.  It takes great strength and courage to say “I forgive you”.  And this is what Esau did.  We do not know Esau’s walk with God – a man who gave up his birthright for a stew, a man who in the beginning shunned his blessing acting as though he did not need it nor the God it originated from.  Did Esau have his own call from God?  Did Esau have his own “come to Jesus” meeting? 

God can also help us to reconcile.  Often times we get so caught up in being “right”, we can take on the role of “victim” or “martyr”.  Are you a “right” fighter?  No matter the cost of being right do you desire to be right?  No matter the collateral damage do you want people to say “you are right”?  Consider this:  If Jacob and Esau continued in their “right”ness; Jacob being right because of prophecy, Esau being right because he had been deceived; they never would have found wholeness.  They would not have reconciled, had a relationship together or a full walk with God.  God calls us to be whole and one with each other so that we might be one with God.  “I am because you are.”

Today, would you rather be Right or would you rather be Whole?

Blessed be God.

Reconciliation

Reconciliation.  What does it mean to be reconciled to another?  To God?

According to Dictionary.com: 

reconcile  (ˈrɛkənˌsaɪl) 

 1. to make (oneself or another) no longer opposed; cause to acquiesce in something unpleasant: she reconciled herself to poverty
 2. to become friendly with (someone) after estrangement or to re-establish friendly relations between (two or more people) 
3.  to settle (a quarrel or difference) 
4. to make (two apparently conflicting things) compatible or consistent with each other

  [C14: from Latin reconciliāre  to bring together again, from re-  + conciliāre  to make friendly, conciliate ]

And then we have the Book of Common Prayer; Holy Eucharist Prayer C:

“Again and again, you have called us to return.  Through prophets and sages you revealed your righteous Law.  And in the fullness of time you sent your only Son, born of a woman, to fulfill your Law, to open for us the way of freedom and peace. 

By his blood, he reconciled us.

By his wounds, we are healed.”

But what does it mean to reconcile?  Reconciliation is a choice and it can take strength and courage, sometimes so much strength and courage that it is easier to recoil in anger and spite than to take the leap of faith.  Sometimes bitterness and the silent treatment are easier pills to swallow then saying “I am sorry”,  and/or “I forgive you.”  Sometimes we would rather just turn our back and walk away, maybe run away, thinking we can outrun the pain, the hurt, the loneliness of a broken relationship.  Unfortunately a change in location or lack of communication doesn’t heal brokenness.  Just ask the Israelites who cried out to God to save them from Pharaoh.  

We can still be enslaved today, only a lot of our Masters are chosen by us.  We can choose to be a slave to hate, ignorance, intolerance, self-righteousness, bitterness, hurt, anger…the list goes on, choose your own.  There is another choice.  We can choose Love.  We can choose Wholeness through God.  God can give us the strength and courage to reach out to someone and say “I love you”, “I am sorry that I wounded you”, “I forgive you”, “I love you, too”.

“By his blood, he reconciled us”; Jesus gave himself as an offering to us so that we might be reconciled to the Godhead.  Jesus came to us and said “Do not be afraid”, “Come follow me”.  If we are true Disciples of Christ, true followers of The Way we must learn to give ourselves as offerings to others in true acts of forgiveness and reconciliation.  No justification for action, no admittance of wrong with strings attached or admission of forgiveness with strings attached.

“By his wounds, we are healed”;  Jesus was wounded by us, for us, to save us.  “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”  We, yes you and I, my friend, are the walking wounded.  We walk around saying “I am fine”, “things are fine” and we dress ourselves up and take ourselves out and show our “fine” image to the public.  But in the safety of our homes and the quietness of our prayer we can lay before God all the wounds, some bleeding, some new and jagged, some beginning to heal.  And we can be healed.  We can ask God to overcome us and be within the words we speak and in the ears of those who hear us.  We can present ourselves to the one we have wounded or the one who has wounded us.  We can say, “I am sorry I wounded you.”  We can say, “Please know that you wounded me and I forgive you.”  Sometimes we can say this once and we can move forward in relationship.  Sometimes we can say this once and we can move forward ending the relationship, but leaving it with both persons in a state of wholeness.  Sometimes we have to say this daily until the wound has fully healed.  Sometimes we have to say this daily knowing that only God can heal our wound and we must just keep praying for wholeness.

What does it mean to be reconciled to another?  To God?  It means freedom and peace;  A peace which passes all understanding and is only possible through the healing power of a Savior.

Blessed be your reconciliations as you find wholeness in your life, in your relationships and with your God.