Pray in the Holy Spirit

"But you, beloved, must remember the predictions of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ; for they said to you, ‘In the last time there will be scoffers, indulging their own ungodly lusts.’ It is these worldly people, devoid of the Spirit, who are causing divisions. But you, beloved, build yourselves up on your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit; keep yourselves in the love of God; look forward to the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. And have mercy on some who are wavering; save others by snatching them out of the fire; and have mercy on still others with fear, hating even the tunic defiled by their bodies.

Now to him who is able to keep you from falling, and to make you stand without blemish in the presence of his glory with rejoicing, to the only God our Saviour, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power, and authority, before all time and now and for ever. Amen." 

Jude 1:17-25

Our calling as humankind is to be in community with other humankind.  Which is not always kind.  We not only are called to be in the midst of others but to intentionally create community together.  Whether it be a work environment, a neighborhood, a sports team connection, a school connection, a hobby or volunteer connection and hopefully a church connection.  It is only when we live in community together having to love one another as Jesus loved us that we begin to understand fully who we are and who we are not.

Plain and simple we are sinners, we are not perfect and we certainly are not God.  We stumble around in the dark knocking into things and people, breaking things and hearts, bruising ourselves and others.  Every single moment we breathe we are making a choice to live and we either use that breath to bless or to curse.  Every single action we commit has consequences, good action has good consequence and bad action has bad consequence.  The ripple effect is beyond our own limited imagination.

You see it on the news every day - more the stories of those who have been unloved, ignored, disrespected, ill treated, abused, oppressed, afflicted, victimized with terror.  The ramifications can be devastating.  It isn't until the shocking happens that we sit back and ponder why?  The media generally finds a finger to point - if so and so hadn't, if this group would have.  But do we ever grab a mirror and examine our own conscience?  What if I hadn't, what if I would have?

Less of what we see are the positive choices and the everyday heroes.  I spent a portion of my sabbath morning at the county's homeless shelters yesterday.  Amazing work is being done there.  Facilities for a drop in day shelter, an emergency cold weather shelter, an emergency 89 day shelter, a transitional shelter on-site and off-site.  Access to case workers and every program the county, state and federal government offer alongside all the non-profit programs.  Most of the programs are sustained by a very small staff and countless volunteers.  These people put so much time, effort and heart into their work.  Providing dignity and respect for every single person who walks in the door. 

And yet - how many people in my community even know this exists?  How many people realize that the needs continue to grow and the resources continue to dwindle and while no one wants to turn anyone away, sometimes it has to be done.  And how many people do not reach out for help because the indignity of being homeless itself is too much for them to reach out further. 

The need has increased rapidly this close to Christmas.  It does every year.  It's cold.  People see this artificial display of joy and abundance the media and advertisers display and they begin to covet the life in the commercial.  My friends, the commercial isn't real.  Real community knows this.  Real community deals with what is instead of what has been or might be.  What is your life today?  What is your reality?  Who do you turn to share your reality, your joy and your grief, your abundance and your struggle?  Who has your back?

This heightened time of year, this stress to be the "perfect" family and for everyone to "love" each other like a hallmark card is dangerous to real families and people.  People begin to lash out angry words to one another, to behave in response with careless acts that break hearts deeper or with violence that violates safety and destroys trust.  People begin to turn to alcohol, drugs, random sexual encounters, working overtime, shopping to the point of being in debt, eating too much, exercising too much, binging, purging, hoarding - you name it, I could go on and on.  We each have our own shadow of despair that we turn to when our reality crashes our dream life.

Where is Jesus in this?  Did God himself humble himself the point of taking on human flesh so that we might destroy each other?  Is this what Jesus taught us while he was physically present with us?  NO!

"But you, beloved, build yourselves up on your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit; keep yourselves in the love of God; look forward to the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. And have mercy on some who are wavering; save others by snatching them out of the fire; and have mercy on still others with fear, hating even the tunic defiled by their bodies."

It is okay to struggle, it is okay to hurt, it is okay to cry and beg for mercy.  It is okay to ask for what you need.  Pray, pray, pray.  But be careful of that slippery slope where you allow the world to dictate what you "should" feel, what you "should" do, who you "should" be.  You are created by God for a greater calling than just this earthly life.  Turn first to your Father in Heaven.  You will find the love you desire and the guidance and help you need.  I didn't say "want", I said "need".  God has set you apart for so much more than you can even fathom that your answered prayers may not even make sense to you, but they make perfect sense to the One who created, redeemed and loves you still.

Take a breath, make a choice.  Live with intention instead of reaction.  Imagine the ripple you create as you walk and talk through this world each moment.  What would your ripple look like if you could take a picture of it?  And what happens when you allow Grace to drop into your ripple?  What do you imagine God is thinking as he watches your ripple explode through this life, is it washing into people and lifting them up towards Him or are you drowning people in your thoughts, words and deeds? 

Go in peace today my friends to love and serve the Lord - start at home, with your own family, sometimes the hardest ones to love with the grace of God are those who are closest to you.  Practice forgiveness, humility, faith, hope and above all love.  Watch your ripple.

Standing With Lonely

"If you do not stand firm in faith, you shall not stand at all."  Isaiah 7:9b

Bullet died two days ago.  I am only standing today because I am standing in faith.

She died in my arms, waiting to take her last breath when all of us were home.  It was harder than I anticipated it would be.  It never ceases to amaze me the unexpected force of grief when expected death takes place. 

The house feels strange.  The weight of death has been lifted from the house, you can actually feel the differences in the air.  But now the presence of grief is here.  I keep thinking I hear her just around the corner, but she isn't there.

There are birds in the yard and they were across the street this morning when I was outside running our dog.  It is so cold out - 24 degrees this a.m. - that I was surprised by them.  I am  not sure the kind of bird, but they make this interesting chirping.  It is almost a rolling of r's as though I am attempting to speak spanish and I am practicing the r's.  It is that but different.  My husband can make the chirp.  He used to do it to imitate when Bullet would sit at the window and chirp call to the birds.  She loved her bird friends.  She would sit at the window for hours watching them and chirping to them.

I think her friends came to keep me company today.  I wonder if Bullet knew I was sad and sent them to remind me of her happy days here with us?

I am surprised by the depth of my sadness but my husband reminded me that Bullet has been with me almost half my life.  She was with us as a family before we knew we were a family.  She has been with us through 2 homes, the birth of 4 kids, the death of her sister and of too many of our family members.  She sat with me through joy and lay with me through sadness.  She saw me through so many days and nights.  My 2nd daughter said "I am lonely without my sister."  I think she said it perfectly, we are lonely without Bullet.

Give Thanks In All Circumstances

My daily office readings today: 

Psalm 26, 28; 

Isa. 5:13-17, 24-25;

1 Thess. 5:12-28;

Luke 21:29-38

What do you do with death?  What?

Two friends of mine came to me in one day struggling with grief during this heightened state of emotional blissness - we are supposed to be happy and merry and with kith and kin during the holidays - why?  Where in scriptures during Advent does it say we must pretend to be making merry and set up artificial moments of celebration?  Advent calls us to Journey, to repent, to seek God before anyone else, to celebrate in the Incarnation so that we might rejoice in the mystery of the Resurrection.  Death overcome; a grief fully lived out and acknowledged.

A woman with whom I was blessed to provide some pastoral care has died.  She is around my age, she has a young child who still needs her mother.  What do I do with this dear God?

My beloved cat is dying as I sit here and I spent the night with her in my arms praying that God take her quickly because I fear her pain is growing.  I held her, hummed songs to her so she could feel the vibrations because I am no longer certain she can see or hear.  Her body is giving out at a rapid pace.  It's too hard dear God, what do I do with this pain?  Hers and mine and my children's who have never known a life without her?  She is 17 and has been with me through everything, everything.  Her sister died 7 years ago and her death was not easy for her or us.  Now my only consolation and hope is in God and the imaging of her sister waiting to draw her into Life Eternal and the joyous scampering that will ensue.  What do I do with this dear God?

And my readings, my prayer time this morning at once uplifts and strengthens me even as it guides me.

¹⁶Rejoice always, ¹⁷pray without ceasing, ¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. ¹⁹Do not quench the Spirit."  1 Thessalonians 5:16-19

At first I cry out how God, how do I rejoice?  And yet I do - I rejoice in 17 years of memories and love.

Pray without ceasing comes easier, yes I will and yes I must.  It is only on my knees that I can see clearly.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  This is harder.  It is hard to embrace the pain and say thank you, but I do.  Christ Jesus endured much more pain for me and I will endure this pain for the blessed love that I was able and am able to have.  The point of this pain is that Love was present, Love was real, Love was Incarnate in relationship.

Do not quench the Spirit.  This is my task and I can embrace it.  My marching orders if you will, my answer to how dear God?  God provides always and everywhere.

"To you, O Lord, I call; my rock, do not refuse to hear me, for if you are silent to me, I shall be like those who go down to the Pit. Hear the voice of my supplication, as I cry to you for help, as I lift up my hands towards your most holy sanctuary."  Psalm 28:1-2

Into your hands dear God I commend their spirits, those who have died, those who are dying and those who twist and turn in restless sleep as they grieve.  Embrace them all with your peace which transcends all pain, help me to enter into my grief honestly and purely so that you might be present with me to uphold and uplift me and carry me through it all.  Amen

Ask Me

"Ask me if what I have done is my life".

William Stafford

I had ELI yesterday - Episcopal Leadership Institute.  LOVED it.  Practical, tangible, effective tools for ministry work.  Most of my classmates have multiple degrees and have learned management theories and leadership concepts.  I don't and I haven't.  I generally fly by the seat of my pants.  A wing and a prayer.

You know the movie "Finding Nemo" where Dori the fish is swimming cluelessly and keeps repeating "just keep swimming, just keep swimming."  That is me.  Except my mantra is "just keep praying, just keep praying".

I find the above quote intriguing.  "Ask me if what I have done is my life".  I understand what the author is getting at.  But couple that quote with one from C.S. Lewis "You don't have a soul.  You are a soul.  You have a body."

What I do is who I am and who I am expresses itself in what I do.  If this isn't true I am not living an authentic Christ centered life.  The day I woke up to Grace and surrendered my life to God I became who I am.  It hasn't always been that way for me.  I thank God for being patient with me and continually seeking me when I was lost - and on the days that I stumble and get lost again.  I pray He never stops reaching out for me. 

Just keep praying, just keep praying!

Nine More Days

Only 9 more days until the new movie based on C.S. Lewis's book "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" comes out.  YEAH!!

Busy day, praying, running around, talking, praying, writing, sorting, delivering, praying, more talking ;-)  I seem to like to pray, talk and write.  You would think I would run out of things to say - but then in that case I use other's words!

In fact I received a fabulous God gift today.  The person who gave it to me didn't know they were giving it to me until I gasped in astounded pleasure when I saw it in their hands.  How could they resist placing it in my outstretched palms...especially when they had no idea why I was so excited. 

"A Mind Awake; An Anthology of C.S. Lewis" edited by Clyde S. Kilby.  It hasn't left my side all day and I crack it open every time I can.  Hardcover no less, copyright 1968 First Edition American printing AND the real gem, as I opened it up out fell a newspaper article from June 1976 entitled "Your neighbor is a Holy Object" quoting C.S. Lewis.  Brilliant!

This is treasure hunting at it's best and I just have to share with you...

"There are no ordinary people.  You have never talked to a mere mortal.  Nations, cultures, arts, civilization - these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat.  But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendours.  This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn.  We must play.  But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously - no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.  And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner - no mere tolerance or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment.  Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses.  If he is your Christian Neighbour he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat - the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden."  - C. S. Lewis 'Weight of Glory'

Brilliant!  vere latitat - latin meaning 'truly hides'.  God glorified is hiding in you and in your neighbor.  Imagine.  Just imagine how you speak to Jesus every day.  You can either feel shivers of excitement or shivers of dread at how you have been treating the people you encounter.

I met a woman today, totally out of the blue - who was speaking to me as if she had known me my whole life and knew my deepest, most hidden fears and she gave me solutions to my own roadblocks.  Imagine!  Where did she come from?  How did she find me?  I knew our encounter was not random and she might not be who she "appeared" to be, but rather had quite a human disguise going.

Might it have been a Holy Encounter?  Might have Christ vere latitat have overcome my life and transcended into my normal?

I believe.

"Nothing is yet in its true form."  C.S. Lewis 'Till We Have Faces'