First Day of School - The Kids

Really - I am supposed to be happy.  I am supposed to be excited.  I am supposed to be partying this morning with mimosas and laughter.

Really - I am crying.  I am sad.  I am struggling to remember why I was so excited for this day.

My kitchen is clean, my prayers are said, my funky jazz that everyone hates to listen to but me is playing.  It is even my husband's birthday (Happy blessed birthday!). 

I was fine, a few butterflies while we got ready this morning.  I was fine walking to school, all routine and normal.  Then we got to school and my youngest son (1st grade) asked his brother (2nd grade) to walk him to his room and he looked like he might cry.  My 2nd grader said "of course" and grabbed his hand and they walked into the school holding hands.  Then the tears came.  I tried to hide them and stop them, I didn't want to scare any of the kids by bawling at the back door.  They looked so tiny and that door looked so big.

But here I am with my new life.  12 years of my life have just flipped into a new life in a matter of 12 minutes.  12 years ago I was dancing around my living room with a newborn in my arms (to that funky jazz I might add!) I can still smell their sweet baby milky smell, feel their tiny breath against my neck, see their silly baby grins, hear their gurgles and coos, even their feisty hungry baby cries.

Today I can remember every moment of their adventures like a movie montage playing through my mind.  wow.  So here I am, with my blessed life, kids growing exactly as they should; me heading into my new adventures exactly as I should.  But not feeling anything like I thought I would.

What a gift today is, a wonderful reminder of how each of my children is really a Gift from God, just in my care for a short time of my journey, just a short time of their journey.  Just a short time but a full time, with so much love I feel my heart could burst.  How thankful I am.

Father of all mercies

We ask that you would bless

the youngest and littlest of learners,

the most helpless and powerless of persons,

with Your infinite and loving mercy,

granting them the strength to learn, concentrate,

and act appropriately towards their teachers and fellow students.

We also ask that You would watch over them,

at home and at school

and grant them proper direction so that they may learn

of Your wonderful virtues.

We ask this in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen

(prayer written by David Bennett)