Ember Day Letter

I just wrote my first Ember Day Letter.  Once accepted as a Postulant for Holy Orders you are provided the opportunity to write your Bishop 4x a year.  We are supposed to discuss our personal, spiritual and academic lives and the changes/transformations we are experiencing.  There is a whole history behind what an Ember Day letter is, why it is called that and the dates they are due.  What matters to me today is that mine was due, I wrote it and I sent it in, phew!

My first official meeting with my Bishop I was so nervous - and this is strange because I have met the Bishop before.  However, I was nervous.  I dry cleaned my suit (note I have been a SAHM for 9 years - my normal attire consists of sweatpants or yoga pants and t-shirts and my fave flip flops).  I was so pleased with myself as I got myself together, got my kids all squared away and got in the car and on the road on time.  Traffic was light and I was hopeful it would stay that way.  It is normally a 2.5 hour drive for me, however traffic can turn it into a 4-5 hour nightmare if you reach parking lot status on the highway.  Next prayer was not to get lost (re: previous post on my map handling skills). 

About an hour into my drive all of a sudden I looked to the passenger seat - hmmm no suit jacket, quick peek to the backseat...no suit jacket, serious swivel of the head, OMG I forgot my suit jacket!  Panic set in and I began to seriously sweat - no more calmness.  I had left half of my suit at home - didn't wear the jacket to get in the car because I did not want to wrinkle it, was going to hang it in the backseat until I got there!  For about 5 miles I debated turning around and going home to get it.  I had two choices: be a few minutes early and no suit jacket or risk being late, sweaty and stressed in my suit jacket.

I chose to keep driving and bear the humiliation of wearing half a suit.  I was so embarrassed.  I have no idea if the Bishop noticed but I am still in the formation process.

Next time I see the Bishop, I have no idea I am seeing the Bishop.  I am on retreat - this time I am stuck in the 2.5 hour drive traffic that makes it a 4 hour drive and the 1.5 hours I hope to have to relax before the retreat started is non-existent.  Add this to the fact that my mapquest directions give me an exit marker that is wrong and I take the wrong exit and have to figure out where I am - lucky for me I did, unfortunately it stressed me out and once again I am sweating.  No suit jacket to worry about, all I bring are my normal sweats and yoga pants - I am on retreat right?  Time for comfy because I am getting down to the serious business of spirituality.  I walk into the room and 10 minutes later the Bishop walks in.  *sigh*  "whoops I did it again" is running through my head!

Hopefully my first attempt at my Ember Day letter is better than my track record with knowing what to wear and keeping the whole outfit together.  I was very nervous hitting the send button.  But I have let that go and leave it all in God's hands now.  All I can really do is share who I am and what I am doing and hope that who I am is enough.  And I am seriously considering purchasing 2 Albs - one to keep in the car so that the suit jacket incidence doesn't repeat itself.