It seems every week the phone rings and we receive news that makes us wish we hadn't answered the phone. As if not answering the phone would change the news. One week it is good friends coming to the painful conclusion that their marriage has ended and they are getting divorced. One week it is the call that a dear friend has just been diagnosed with cancer. One week it is the call that a beloved child has died. One week it is the call that another job has been lost that financially supports not just a core family but sometimes extended family also.
These are the calls that remind us how precious living in the moment is. How the best gift you can give yourself and your life is being fully present. We talk about it, read about it, daydream even about being present (which means we aren't being present, ironic!). How do we do it? How do we achieve it? Why does it take the phone calls to remind us?
We get so caught up in "stuff" and the "stuff" does make up our lives. Isn't it amazing though how a phone call can shatter in mere seconds the import of any of the "stuff" we have prioritized as so important.
I was leading Morning Prayer yesterday and one of our worshipers prayed aloud for the death of a 12yr old child. The child was leading their normal life just hours before being found unexpectedly dead. I immediately went to thoughts of my children. Would I see them at the end of this day? How did I leave them that morning - if that was our last moment had I treated them in a way they could embrace and remember with love and hope? Had I prayed with them showing them God comes first? Had I lived my life with them in a way that would continue to shape who they were in a Godly way, in an intentional way. Had I given them a foundation and example of living a sacred and treasured life. Did I let them know they are uniquely and lovingly created, that their very presence on this Earth makes the world a better place?
Then last evening we received a phone call. cancer. Another beloved friend faced with the battle. I hate cancer. I hate it. Every year it takes away another beloved from my life. I try not to hate, but I struggle with my hatred of cancer, I haven't been able to let go and let God in this hatred.
Then I went to the homeless shelter I am serving this week. I prayed the whole drive. I ranted and raved and cried and begged. One thing about my work is being present. I knew when I opened the door to the shelter nothing about me mattered. I had to get it all out in the car and show up as an empty vessel so that God might be with me and I might be fully present. The women I serve deserve nothing less than my full attention. I walked in the door and all was well. Then one of the women wanted to speak with me privately and praise God the angels spoke through her to me. We talked about praising God through every storm, of placing the Word straight into the middle of all that we do and all that we are experiencing. We talked about crying out to God and surrendering our will, letting go of control and "stuff". We talked about keeping in mind always the eternal and how being fully present in this world meant we can't really fit in and if we are beginning to fit in, to be comfortable then we aren't allowing God to truly work in us. If we are accepting worldly affirmation then we might be straying from our path. She has been through quite a storm in her life and she talked about how God was her rock and her shield and her stronghold and how her faith couldn't be shaken. She shared with me she found a place to rent and was approved, her job is going well, her child is healthy and her abusive relationship is officially ended. Praise God.
I was fully present for her, she was fully present with me and God spoke volumes between us. And today I do not fear the ring of the phone. No matter what the call entails I know that if I allow God to be present in my hearing and receiving and my actions follow divine will, all will be well.
All will be well.
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