I couldn't disagree more!! So, I kept looking on-line for a definition of introvert that really conveys the truth for me - an introvert.
"Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people." Now that definition is pretty on target! Read the rest of the article for some great info - especially if you are an extrovert who has an introvert in your life.
I used to be labeled "shy" and "reticent" and in the high school world I was definitely considered "self-centered" - in fact my husband's initial opinion of me: 'snob' I believe was the word he used. I used to practice in the mirror having a smile on my face, a welcoming look to help me get past those labels, because they don't fit my personality. I am quiet, I am introspective, I am a watcher more than a talker, I take in my surroundings and I take in the people around me. I take in their energy, I can feel their emotions, sometimes I can "feel" what isn't being said and it enables me to form the right questions to ask so they can voice what they didn't even know needed to be voiced. Far from being self-centered or removed from people I love people and exploring what they are thinking and feeling and discovering what they desire and need.
I used to laugh out loud at the shocked faces of people who thought me "painfully shy"when they would hear me speak out the first time. The truth is I have a strong voice and generally a lot to say once I get going and I am not absent a sense of humor ;-) There is some truth to the commentary "It's always the quiet ones...."
I don't believe introverts are concerned with their "own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things" as much as introverts are concerned with thoughts and feelings and dispatch with the small talk. Please don't talk to me about the weather, let's just enjoy it. Let's be silent and feel the sun washing over our faces warming our souls and brightening our Spirits. Let's be quiet so we can hear the tap, tap of the rain on the roof of the front porch and watch the leaves on the bushes glisten with the shine of raindrops slipping through them. Let's thank God as Creation reaches out to amaze and enlighten us!
Sundays are my 'on' day - as they are for all ministers, pastors, preachers. From the moment I step on sacred church ground I pull out every extrovert trick in the book. I can welcome, shake hands, talk about yesterday's 5K and the threat of war in the Sudan. I can sing, confess, lead prayer, preach, teach and dismiss with conviction and love. I can chat over coffee, I can go out to lunch with parishioners and discuss the gospel for the day, I can attend a planning meeting and I can run a class in the evening.
And the minute I step through my home's front door I can feel the Spirit leave me as in a balloon that is slowly being deflated. I can stand in my foyer and look at my home as if I didn't know where I was and walk slowly into the office to set my bag down. I can drop on my couch and wonder at all the people in my house and why they want to talk to me still - oh yes because they are my husband and kids who haven't seen me all day. So, I pull up my bootstraps and bring on the last vestiges of energy I can find for them. Because I love them I can do this. Come Monday morning at 8am I thank God for work and school as I sit in my quiet house, with just the hum of the washing machine.
Introverts give all their energy to the people who surround them. Quiet and silence "recharge" those batteries. I used to be ashamed of this, I used to try and deny and always be "on" for people. But the truth will set you free and once I understood where I gain my energy and where I use my energy I was able to take care of myself - which makes me even better able to care for those in my life.
Sunday was a big day for me this past week because it was my last day at my home parish - and on Monday I sat on my couch and just sat, and sat, and sat. When everyone came home from work and school and wanted to know what I "did" for the day I just looked at them - "I sat here". When they asked me what was for dinner I just looked at them, "cereal and peanut butter sandwiches". They looked at me like I dropped in from another planet. But it's okay, one day of sitting recharges me, one day of quiet fulfilled me and it takes nothing from them to allow me that time. It really won't scar them for life to eat cereal for dinner once in awhile. ;-)
And today I woke up revving to go - the laundry is in, the coffee is brewing, I packed lunches, am working on the dinner menu for the week, getting ready to go grocery shopping. I have my workout clothes on and will get that done first. I have my "canonicals" (final exams) this week and I am feeling the Spirit ready to explode in my head and heart and give the words to speak the Truth I know.
Hug your Introvert today - you don't even need to say I love you when you do it, your Introvert can feel it through the circle of your arms and the thump of your heartbeat. Your love courses through their Spirit when you allow that moment of silence to wrap around you both together. The greatest gift my husband ever gives me are the days when he walks in from work and smiles at me, walks over and just hugs me, the 3 minute hug where his strong arms hold me up and I lay my head on his chest and can hear his heart calling out to mine. We need no words. And then he lets me go and calls out to the kids, "let's go outside and run around". I can watch from the window, smiling, taking in their screams of joy and laughter as they jump on the trampoline and chase each other for capture the flag. And soon I am able to join them, mingling my voice and laughter with theirs our energies entwining together and the language of Love speaking for us and through us.
Thanks be to God!
(Have an Introvert in your life and want to understand how to care for them, this is a great (funny) article written by an Introvert.)
"14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,*15from whom every family* in heaven and on earth takes its name.16I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit,17and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love." Ephesians 3:14-17
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